Having interacted with some two and a half thousand parents, all of whom have been looking for support for their dyslexic children, I can’t help noticing that a part of the solution in securing that crucial support could simply be the building of more positive relationships between the parents and teachers of children with dyslexia.
Forgive me but I feel very strongly about this topic!
When we think about dyslexia support and the discussions that need to take place in order for it to be implemented for any given child, the headlines that I hear from parents relate to a sense of ‘Them and Us’ between parents and teachers, the use of the words ‘fight’ and ‘struggle’ are common. Some parents don’t even realise that they have a legal right to request support or they back off from asking because they are told there is no budget or resources available to support their child.
Teachers on the other hand are being forced to work beyond their means. They are over stretched and under trained when it comes to SEND. Many were leaving the profession before the Pandemic and now the situation has gotten worse.
For parents and teachers, both groups will be experiencing higher levels of stress and anxiety as they try and fulfil what they feel they need in place.
Whilst it is true that budgets and resources are low, parents and teachers are trying to negotiate support within an Education System that fails to deliver upon it’s commitments with respect to SEND.
Commenting during a recent training course delivered by the independent provider of special education advice, IPSEA, the current Green Paper proposal for the reform of the Education System was felt to not benefit children and parents but local and national government. The thinking being that if the Education System simply delivered on it’s SEND objectives then it wouldn’t need to reform.
It seems to me that whilst the challenges of the Education System continue for children with SEND, parents and teachers who are involved in discussions about support are left in what might appear to be powerless situations that drive conversations that take place from a position of insecurity or fear, or a need to protect oneself emotionally rather than enter the negotiation with a spirit of collaboration and a creative approach to supporting a child with dyslexia.
Something has to change and it could be as easy as simply building more positive relationships between the parent and the teacher.
Could Emotional Intelligence be the key?
Parents have shared with me, over the years, stories of frustration, heated discussions, feeling patronised or unheard. Some parents own experience of dyslexia as a child in school result in a reliving of their experiences when speaking to teachers thus impacting upon their objectivity or keeping on track with the task of negotiating effectively to get that support in place.
There will also be many reasons behind how a teacher will be interacting with parents who are expressing their dissatisfaction (appropriately or inappropriately) about the level of support that their child is receiving.
I believe that for the needs of the child to be met within school, parents and teachers should demonstrate effective skills in Emotional Intelligence. It is in demonstrating the key skills of Emotional Intelligence that parents and teachers can build positive working relationships that ultimately meets the academic and emotional needs of the dyslexic child.
The key elements of Emotional Intelligence being:
Self-Awareness,
Self-Regulation,
Social Skills,
Empathy,
Ways to develop Emotional Intelligence and positively influence the Parent/Teacher relationship.
In order to help parents and teachers to develop their Emotional Intelligence skills I wrote a short online course that explores what Emotional Intelligence is at a deeper level and talks through strategies that will help to develop it, so that teachers and parents can form more positive collaborative relationships in the service of the child who needs support.
To find out more about the course entitled “How Emotional Intelligence can help the parent / teacher relationship when supporting a dyslexic child.” click the banner below:
Are you a parent of a child with dyslexia?
I have developed a way for you to reflect on how far you have come in getting support for your child and to identify the next steps that you can take confidently so as to unlock the potential of your child.
Find out more by clicking the link below: